My friend Val and I are very excited about this menu.
I’ve had a longstanding dining paradox: When I’m single and going out on a lot of dates—meals where the foods is really good, the expectation is to make an event out of things, there may be an incentive to get dessert and linger, etc.—I tend to lose weight. The phenomenon has always been perplexing. Historically, I’ve chalked it up to nerves and adrenaline.
An August study in the journal Appetite offers up another explanation: I’m eating less than when I’m out with my girlfriends. Researchers who consistently observed 469 people in 198 separate social situations found that when two women had meal out together, they’d each consume about 670 calories. If the dinner took place between a woman and a man, however, the woman would take in only around 550 calories.
Fascinatingly, the discrepancy appeared to grow with crowd size and gender. In mixed company, individual women ate an all-time low of approximately 450 calories. By contrast, when the group was all female, the number soared to about 750 calories. That’s a 300-calorie difference.
The researchers were quick to attribute the results to the idea that women don’t want to come across as big eaters around men. Personally, I’ve never understood the reasoning behind this argument. My mind goes to that scene in Gone with the Wind where Scarlett O’Hara “boldly” defies picnic protocol to eat fried chicken or whatnot—and then we all like her better (which is, of course, an issue of its own). In other words, I’d argue the greater social pressure for us is to be thin, but not look like we’re even remotely working at it.
Steak. Yum.
One more detail: Women eating by themselves varied greatly in terms of how many calories they consumed, but even so, most still came closest to the “with men” number (the average was just 20 calories more than a woman-man one-on-one). So the deeper point of interest in all this data may be the effect women have on each other.
Speaking to that, a separate study, in the the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition and also out this month, found that the presence of peers at a meal increases the tendency to overeat. It makes sense, right? If people who look and act like you are, say, still eating as you start to feel full, there’s almost a sense that prolonging the experience is what you’re supposed to do. From that perspective, the concept looks an awful lot like the “halo effect” or “vicarious goal fulfillment” I’ve been writing about lately.
All said and done, writing this up did bring to mind something different. In my mind, it underscores the notion that good company does lend itself to a bit of indulgence. Which, as long as it’s something you’re up for and aware of at the time, can be entirely wonderful.
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Camille
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I would be curious to hear a men-with-men figure. I find that we tend to order chocolate desserts when together—and it often makes sense to have beer rather than wine. This is all about license: we can order very heavy things, freely.
And do men eat less, when on dates? I suspect they are just as nervous as their counterparts.
Wow, the study’s results really surprise me! I would think that people would just tend to mirror what their dining companions are doing, leading women to eat a little more on average when with men than with other women. I tend to feel compelled to order and eat more daintily with women (not that I’m ever very dainty!); and I totally agree with your Scarlett O’Hara point. There was a NYT article not so long ago about the pressure women feel to order steaks on dates–to demonstrate that they’re pleasure-loving and thin by magic, rather than self-discipline. But maybe this is all very different depending on social milieu?
OK… There is definitely pressure to eat more when with women. A friend of a friend thinks I’m anorexic (I’m not even close) because I substitute salad for fries and skip the hashbrowns at brunch. Seriously. Maybe I wouldn’t have to deal with this if I just ate more to make this woman “feel better”.
I find I eat more in groups, especially in the presence of homemade food or local specialties… you have to try everything! I am a woman, but my father was famous for trying every pie at a pie fair and declaring each one delicious, much to the delight of the bakers. I have inherited his ability to inhale vast amounts of food in social situations, but unfortunately, being a woman and half his height, not his hollow leg.